White House says it won't build a real Death Star

At BuzzBuzzHome, we find excitement surrounding major construction projects – whether they’re actually going to get built or not – to be infectious.

That’s why we had a smile on our faces when we learned that a petition urging the US government to build a real-life Death Star by 2016 had amassed over 34,000 signatures. And we were really excited to learn that the White House responded to the Death Star campaign, thanks to a previous pledge to acknowledge any petition that garners more than 25,000 signatures in 30 days.

“The Administration shares your desire for job creation and a strong national defense, but a Death Star isn’t on the horizon,” the official White House response reads.

Why not?

Well, for one, cost is a big issue. The White House cites a study out of Leigh University that estimates the cost to build a Death Star would be around $850 quadrillion (that’s $850,000,000,000,000,000). Also, “The Administration does not support blowing up planets.” And then there’s the weapon’s glaring design flaw, “Why would we spend countless taxpayer dollars on a Death Star with a fundamental flaw that can be exploited by a one-man starship?” the White House press release asks.

The Administration also wants to remind citizens that there already is a large space station floating above Earth’s atmosphere, the football field-sized International Space Station.

Ironically, but not at all surprisingly, the White House release makes no mention of the oft-joked about “Star Wars” missile defense system from the Reagan years.

So an actual Death Star won’t get built, but perhaps if a new petition was launched urging the US to build a non-planet-killing, scale Lego model

UPDATE 6:30pm EST Tuesday, January 14th: Via the official Star Wars blog, here is the Galactic Empire’s own cheeky response to the White House decision not to build a Death Star.

IMPERIAL CENTER, CORUSCANT – The overwhelming military superiority of the Galactic Empire has been confirmed once again by the recent announcement by the President of the United States that his nation would not attempt to build a Death Star, despite the bellicose demands of the people of his tiny, aggressive planet. “It is doubtless that such a technological terror in the hands of so primitive a world would be used to upset the peace and sanctity of the citizens of the Galactic Empire,“ said Governor Wilhuff Tarkin of the Outer Rim Territories. “Such destructive power can only be wielded to protect and defend by so enlightened a leader as Emperor Palpatine.”

Representatives on behalf of the nation-state leader from the unimaginatively named planet refused to acknowledge the obvious cowardice of their choice, preferring instead to attribute the decision to fiscal responsibility. “The costs of construction they cited were ridiculously overestimated, though I suppose we must keep in mind that this miniscule planet does not have our massive means of production,” added Admiral Conan Motti of the Imperial Starfleet.

Emissaries of the Emperor also caution any seditious elements within the Galactic Senate not to believe Earth’s exaggerated claims of there being a weakness in the Death Star design. “Any attacks made upon such a station — should one ever be built — would be a useless gesture,” added Motti.

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